A new beginning.

I finally had my endoscopy and biopsy yesterday.  While I won’t get my official pathology report for another 1-2 weeks, the doctor told me during pre-op that she’s 95% sure I have Celiac.  She said my lab results were so utterly out of whack that there really wasn’t another plausible explanation and it was highly unlikely that my biopsy would show anything other than Celiac.  And so today is the first day of the rest of my life, I guess. 

I have to admit that I have some mixed emotions about this journey.  When I first suspected gluten as the culprit, I felt resolute.  I was going to find out what was wrong with me and fix it.  Then when my doctors agreed with me and ordered the tests, I felt slightly vindicated.  I *knew* this wasn’t stress.  I *knew* there was something medically wrong with me, dammit.  When the labs came back overwhelmingly jacked up, and Celiac was all but confirmed, I was sad and a little scared.  I’m Mediterranean.  I eat bread.  It’s what I do.  Plus I now live in the PNW, which is renowned for its excellent craft beers, which I have truly learned to appreciate.  No more wheat?  It’s like a death sentence!  But then my biopsy was scheduled, and I had to binge on wheat for almost three weeks.  Those were easily the hardest weeks of my life, health-wise.  I had to leave work early at least twice a week, because I had the worst upset stomach I had ever experienced.  I felt tired, nauseous, crampy, foggy, etc.  Absolute misery.

But now it’s over.  Well, almost.  There are foods I will miss, and I know my body will be purging itself of gluten for the next few weeks, but as long as I stop the intake, I should start to feel better within the next few weeks.  I’ll learn to bake good GF bread.  And I’ll start to play with food again, which will be a nice change.  I know there will be missteps along the way, and there will be plenty of sad moments as I realize I can’t ever eat another “real” cupcake, or bagel, or bowl of legit, homemade mac’n’cheese.  But overall, the promise of living a healthier life far outweighs the food-related grief.  And so it goes.  Today is my first day of being completely gluten-free and I can’t wait.  Here’s to the rest of my life!

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